Dread. And the ilk.

Despair. Dissapointment. Rejection. Hopelessness. Heartbreak.

In my current state of mind, nothing beats the feeling of dread.

Because dread is a fear of the future. That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that something bad is about to happen. When you don't know what will happen in the future, your mind tends to flip between two extremes (i) By imagining the worst possible scenario; and (ii) Lying to yourself and actually harbouring false hope- that things won't turn out the way you know they will.

I hate it when things are indefinite and are just hanging in limbo. A big part of me wants to get it over and done with- its easier to bite the bullet and deal with the hard stuff, and freakin move on with the rest of your life.

Yet there is a small part of me- the insecure, scared and fragile little girl- who might just be liking the fact that nothing is set in stone- Yet. She can hope, and she can try to change things, even though it might take nothing short of a miracle to change it.

But i still the bottom of my stomach still feels quesy.