22.08.2011

I've denied it all this time.

But fine.

I am a damsel in distress.

So hurry up now. Come save me.

Best. Compliment. Ever.

A rather senior, well respected Singaporean debater said this to me yesterday:

'U have a natural talent at persuasion. Very rare. Wen u speak ppl listen their not looking at ur chest anymore. Tats very very rare in hot speakers.'

Double compliments. Made my week.

Stack 'em up.

The transition hasn't been easy. But it wasn't as hard as i thought it'd be.

Maybe because i had things to do with my time. Maybe because i have amazing friends. Maybe it was the much needed cathartic overnight session that had more than me letting it out. Maybe because the girls that i initially were skeptical of (and i'm sure they were skeptical of me too), turned out to be the blessings in disguise that i needed- seeing me through their eyes was what i needed. Ego boost perhaps, the adoration. But a much needed one.

I won't lie. I think about how it used to be. And i begrudge how somethings now have become a hurdle. But it's for the best i think. At some point, it would've hurt too much, and letting go later would just make things worse. For me. Which was why i acted selfishly. For once, in this cycle, i wanted to think of my future, earnestly this time.

It doesn't hurt anymore now. And knowing that gives me the kind of power over my life that i haven't had in awhile. Its made me lighter.

On a different note, i won the Cheeseman Essay Competition. On my first try, funnily enough. And it was at a time when i probably needed the win for three reasons:

1. Way too many losses- Australs, Wira... the list is pretty long.

2. The contemplation of writing again, seriously this time.
3. The cash. Muahahahahaa!

I really want to use the money to join Omes and James in Bangkok to bum around- i've been offered to come over and stay with these jolly men. Oh, and maybe teach English. The thing is, i've got about a week before i start work, so i'm in a real dilemma. Not to mention parental disapproval possibly looming ahead.

Oh well. No Bangkok means more money for shoes? Muahahahhaha!

P/S- I'm kidding. I have too many. Oh wait, i do need an extra pair for work... ;)