The Value of Friendships.

Sometimes it baffles me what a walking contradiction i am. I've always placed an extremely high importance on friendship, but i've also considered myself to be a bit of an 'alone person'. No, not a loner per se. But not one who is easily defined by my friends or the group of people i am with. I'm comfortable being alone most of the time. I guess I've always been my own person, but maybe this has sometimes been to my detriment.

But i'm swerving off tangent now.

The reason i'm writing this is because my faith in friendships has taken a toll. Not because of betrayal or the ilk, but rather on it's boundaries. Where does one draw the line on how far to go for a friend? Where does one draw the line on how much you should care about a friend? I've always been fiercely loyal to those i consider close friends, but sometimes this loyalty was declared 'unneeded' and 'uncalled for'. You would've thought that friendship would be one of the most simple empathetic relation mankind has, but it gets more complicated because there are more lines.

And where does plain friendship end? When does it become something more, or something less? I've always had the problem of changing labels. If you're a friend, thats it, you'll never be anything more. I don't allow a lessening of stature, but it happens, whether i like it or not. I fight to keep it, but sometimes it's just not mine to keep.

So. Friendship. Where does that leave me?

LACKadaisical

Two nights on campus. Back home now.

And still damn lazy.

The laptop's charger now fixed. So i have just run out excuses not to do the Juris assignment. But now there's also plenty of excuses to be made up to catch up on the latest episodes of GG/OTH/HIMYM/BBT (yes, we TV geeks have acronyms).

Siiggggh!

Part of me can't wait till debate training starts. Cause then it'll just be a few days closer towards Thailand. But part of me is worried and wants more time to finish up all my work before the due date so that i can relax during training. Ok, maybe relax isn't the right word. Training can get rather intense, especially around Royals time. The whole day is just training and more training (yes, even at night), and we all stay together. Nuts. Boot camp, anyone?

Ah well. C'est La Vie.

Power to the people
We don't want it
We want pleasure
And the T.V.s try to rape us
And I guess that they're succeeding

-Regina Spektor, Hero.

Dollhouse.

I really suck at saving money. I am absolutely horrible at having a budget and sticking to it.

Went to Times Square last Sunday with Peng Le and Grace. Peng was gonna treat us to Papa John's pizza cause she passed all her accounting papers. Now, most people would go, 'Hey, shouldn't the friends treat?'

But in this case, i made a BET with her. You see, Peng has a long history since high school of over-stressing out herself before the exams and lamenting how's she gonna fail. Except she never does. So, for the 2nd time in history (the first was back in Form 5), i made a bet with her. And i won! It was win-win anyways :)

So. I thought, besides parking, i don't have to spend money right?Right? WRONG!

The thing about Times Square, is that there's a lot of cheap crap. And the thing about me and cheap crap is, i think i'm not spending money. So i ended up buying 2 tank tops and a superr cute halter pinstripe vest. Mwhahhaha!

So that means. I need to scrimp again. Eff.


Taken at Times Square. Pre-splurge.

But on the bright side, i'm starting a more permanent part-time position next month. Here's hoping the job doesn't kill me. And i don't waste my money- again!

Um..

So.. maybe i'm just a taaad bit picky.

But since now i'm ready to tame the whirlwind, shouldn't i be allowed to be just a little discerning? =)

Overused.

I'll make it up to you

I am seriously hating this phrase right now. It's just been used as an attempt to placate me, but what annoys me is the fact that it's been used time and time again by people in my life and they never deliver.

I've never used the phrase. I make solid promises. Well, i try my very best not to dissapoint in the first place. Because really, dissapointment comes from giving expectation, and it's not fair for anyone to nurture or give hope for something he can't deliver. And if you can't deliver, don't make another promise you can't deliver!

Yes. So that's why i hate that phrase. People forget.

As a side note. I find it incredibly ironic that two people dislike each other, even without meeting each other, yet share two major things in common.

1. They both care about me
2. They both have hurt me

Ain't life grand?...

Skinny jeans and the ilk.

You know how people always say 'embrace your curves'. How the opposite sex like women with a little bit of flesh on 'em and not stick figures?

I think it's one big lie.

Cause (and no offense meant here) it's the skinny stick thin girls that end up getting (multiple) guys lining up for 'em. I know some of them don't choose to be skinny just as much as curvy girls don't choose to be curvy, but the fact still stands that the world tilts more towards em. Especially fashion trends. It really, really annoys me when i see girls wearing skinny jeans, and looking good in them, when i have to wear bootcut cuz i'm 'curvy'. It SUCKS.

Ah well. Wishing the fashion world would tilt towards the curvy would be like wishing Bush would be tried for war crimes. Not gonna happen.

I'm gonna work on my Jurisprudence assignment now. Ironically, it's on justice. LOL.

Ha. Ha?

Question: Why is your blog so serious and angsty? You're a really funny person in real life...

Answer: Errr...

Me thinks i've been using this blog as a venting site a weee bit too much. Reading back all the posts makes me sound like an angsty 16 year old child. And boy, i was angsty at 16. Didn't actually slit my wrists or anything like that, but it was bad enough.

So, i think the best way to minimise this is- no, not posting a joke a day-but, to blog more often. Because i really am not upset on a daily basis ya know. There are more good days than bad, i'd like to think.

I'm just scared i'll find something bad to blog about regardless.