Loud might be better.

Today, when the accident happened.

I was more scared than i let on to anyone.

Because it was a small thing. Because i didn't wanna seem like a small girl. Because i didn't want anyone to make a fuss of me.

But i wanted someone to actually care.

And what hurt the most were the two people who should be the most important men in my life, didn't sound like they cared at all. Maybe this might seem like a cry for sympathy, for help.

But i've never felt more alone in the past few weeks than i have in maybe a year. And i guess today was just the peak of that.

The breakdown of one of those relationships was my fault. The other wasn't. I just thought that beyond the current issues we faced, they still cared enough.

I guess i'm just so, so very wrong.

Again.