Vay-kay?

I'm on the miserable side today.

For the first time ever since i've entered uni, i am on a proper semester break. Although i'm an RA (Research Assistant), and that in itself takes away some of time, its definitely more free time that i had last sem break, when i had to stay on campus for debate training and tournaments. Last semester, training started the day after my last paper, and i only came home from Thailand a week after the semester started. Yes, poor me.

The post-exams started out pretty ok. Actually it was quite fabulous, for a certain reason i shall not delve in here... but anyway. I was a little stressed from work, but at least i had the solace of returning home for some semblance of peace and quiet. I've actually had time to read and finish books these past few weeks, which is an accomplishment considering my dismal record since entering uni.

Not anymore.

My mom's unwell. Well, she has been unwell for awhile now, but she's thinking of admitting herself come tomorrow. Which means i have to takeover her duties. And to make matters worse, the whole family seems to be afflicted with some sort of sickness or another. Dad's in the grumpiest of grumpy moods cause he's sick, mom's a little bit cheerier, which means its up to me to be Miss Sunshine.

I'm stuck at home cause i haven't got much of an excuse to go out. I feel guilty just asking for permission to go out, and i know i'm gonna get an earful for even thinking about leaving the house while everyone's sick (i am now the healthiest member of the household).

Right now, i'd much rather be back at my residential college, back to the routine of spending weeknights and the occasional weekend there, instead of 24/7 here. I suppose i've gotten used to a certain lifestyle of freedom, of being able to go where i want, see who i want this past year. Not having that just makes me feel hemmed in, with no escape.

So i've got to keep it in for now. Keep in the fact that i'm miserable about my exams, miserable about missing someone, and miserable about being home all.the.time.

The Wakeup Call

Dinesh says:
how's exams?
tharish-tripping-trips-tripped says:
exams have sucked majorly so far
Dinesh says:
ah.
Dinesh says:
exams sucked? or you sucked at exams?
there is a difference. LOL.

Can anybody say OUCH?

Point taken. Going offline now. Gonna try, try to study.

Wish me luck, and don't hesitate to lecture me on my laziness anytime between now and the 8th of May.

Please Tick Where Applicable, Thank You.

Would it be highly hypocritical if someone who loathes being streotyped is the same person who falls back into the same disgusting habit when it comes to other people he/she doesn't know?

The excuse:

"You can't streotype me. I'm special, dammit! I mean, i don't fit into any of those labels. These people... they just don't know me"

Right. But shouldn't it go vice versa? If you don't know the person, why be so quick to streotype them?

Here's my theory. The existance of streotypes attest to the human nature that if you don't know something, just fake it. I think it comforts people to stick a label on someone and file it away under: (a)Bitch (b)Slut (c)Whore (d)Asshole (e)Bastard or (f) She/He's soooo nice (a.k.a Saint)

But human beings aren't predictable little creatures. They're the most volatile substance known to mankind. Think about it. Only a human being has the power to push one button and blow up the whole planet. And he might just do it on a whim, because we humans let our emotions control us. And no, i don't think there exists anyone who isn't motivated by emotions.

A person, however simple minded he/she is, can never be predictable. Because no one knows what goes on in another's head. Never place bets on what a person will do, never get too complecent. Think James the gravedigger being booted out of Survivor: China. He had two freakin' immunity idols, the strongest bod, and the likeability factor. He was poised to win. But.... he became complacent, and trusted his alliance too much. Boo Hoo.

So the lesson i've learnt? Nothing really. I fight against streotypes, but i unwittingly, unconsciouly fall back into the comfy habit of labelling people.

Sigh. If only we all could not only see the hypocrisies in ourselves, but act upon them as well and change. But change takes a bigger, saintlier person than myself/ I'm trying though, and unlike exams and tests, i hope it does count somewhat in the real world.

Fresh Sleeves For Fresh Juice

So.

I'm officially in my twenties. Yes, it happened awhile back. Ok, so i haven't been a teenager for about a year and a quarter now. And maybe i shouldn't blame the age for being the factor for me being an absolutely uninspired piece of cheese (cheese cause i'm thinking about the yummy cheese doughnut at J. Co's, which makes me think of the AvPs at at Big Apple... groan).

But i'll be honest with you.

Because everytime sit down and think (yes, contrary to popular belief, i do indulge in this activity once in awhile) about the time i've spent since i last was a teenager, and it scares me. It scares me how much i've changed. It scares me the amount of self-made rules and principles i've broken in a decidedly short period of time. I've stayed true to them for a huge chunk of my teenage years.... and somehow it took only 2 seconds to break 'em.

Yet i do wonder too.

If all these rules you've made at a younger age- when you were idealistic and naive, would it be such a sin to break them? People change, people evolve and shed the skins they've had too easily. Maybe because to break free from the rigidity of the world and its rules, we need to be fluid and liquid, bending but never breaking.

Everyone deserves a second chance. And everyone prays for a second coming. This is my attempt to set the ball rolling in the right direction.

Goodbye stargazer rendevous, and hello new blog.