The fact that I've been adjudicating/ DCA-ing for quite a bit has taken it's toll on me. Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of fun doing this, but the backlash now is painfully apparent to me.
I'm scared to debate.
More specifically, i'm scared of competing.
My relationship with competition has been a bittersweet one. I like the rush and the adrenaline and the sense of accomplishment after a good speech, but i HATE the anxiety, the pressure, and the worst of all, i HATE losing. Scratch that. I hate losing when i feel like i DIDN'T lose. (sourgrape alert)
And i lose a lot.
Being a DCA is pressure free (ok, maybe not exactly...), you're in a position of power and of somewhat importance, and you get treated nicely (most days). Its nice. Really nice.
BUT... debating. I'm not half bad at it. If i work hard at this i could be three-quarters not bad (ok, lame joke). And i have to man up soon enough anyway.
Sigh. Decisions, decisions...
2 comments:
Deciding whether to debate or DCA for coming tournaments? All the best in either way! Just to let you know that tournaments have always been blessed with you as a DCA. At the same time it's inspiring to see your claws when you're debating =)
-cher linn-
Hi Cher Linn! Had no idea you read my blog =p
Thanks so much for the kind words, they really help make my day a better one =)
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