Fresh starts. In more way than one.

Listening to: Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy.

Just finished reading: The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

"Clare, i want to tell you again. I love you. Our love has been the thread through the labyrinth, the net under the high-walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine i could ever trust. Tonight i feel that my love for you has more density in this world than i do, myself: as though it could linger on after me and surround you, keep you, hold you"

-taken off Henry's last letter to Clare
The Time Traveller's Wife.

It is extremely rare that a book manages to move me so intensely. While my love for books and literature has always been one of the things that has defined me, thus far, only music has been abled to move me so deeply that i felt the need to share this.

It is quite simply, about love. While the main premise, of a man who time travels unwillingly sounds like a plot for a sci-fi novel, it is far from it. The time travelling almost serves as a background at times to the love between Henry and Clare. Obstacles come in many ways, for true love is never as easy as just saying I Love You, is it?

Eventhough at the end of the day, there is a lot of sadness and longing in this book, the showcase of the heartbreaking beauty of love is what makes this novel standout.

It's given me hope. In more ways than one.
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I've just started my new semester, and it's extremely ironic that at the end of this first week i find myself down with a fever. It's not full blown, and hopefully will subside soon to make way for the many, many things that are starting to clutter my calender and giving me a headrush.

Started the week by truly and finally finishing off what should have never started and should have ended a long time ago. It feels good to be finally free (as cold and heartlesss as that sounds), but it's not as free and easy as i hoped that it would be. Remnants of disapointment linger on at times. Yet, it is times like this that i learn more and more about myself. Sometimes i'm proud of how i haven't cried, but sometimes it also scares me how emotionally detached i am. Maybe i've built walls too thick that when i lower my defences, i never really do. Maybe i've been fooling myself all along, that i might have never truly opened myself up to anybody, ever. And thats a little more than scary, because i don't ever want to leave this earth without anyone ever truly knowing me for who i am. Without anyone loving me because of who i am, and not despite it.
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Clutter, clutter
Cause Tharish's a nutter


Some one, please remind me again why i always get myself involved into too many things? Oh wait, because i just can't say no.

No. nonono. NONONONO. no. nononoonononono. NO. nooooOOOOOO.

Ok, maybe thats enough practice? Sigh.

Been asked to sing for one event, for two nights. UNPAID!!!. Transport and food provided, but still. Its on a weekend that i will be crazy busy on, since i've got 3, yes THREE events to be at.

1. Global Youth Symposium (GYS) 08
- I wish i never said yes to this. I'm the person in charge of panellists, forums, etc etc.
Voluntary work that i have zero passion for.

2. IIUM League
-I've been asked to be a DCA (Deputy Chief Adjudicator, for those non-debaters) for this
league, which will stretch for 3 weekends. Its a great honour to be asked, especially since
i've only been debating for less than a year, and the CA and other DCA have at least 5 years
more of experience and are well respected in the M'sian debating circle. I'd actually really
enjoy this, but i'm also afraid that i can't handle this: the commitment and the responsibility
are huge. But i think it'd be more than worth it.

3. The singing thing mentioned above. Its for some dinner for international students and some
ministers. Not very interested, but the person who asked me is very persistant, and
persistance unfortunately, is a weak spot for me.

Oh, and i've also been asked to play at an acoustic gig next weekend by a friend. Yup, playing the guitar and singing my OWN music!! Aaaaahhhh!!

For those out of the loop, the last time i played my own music, alone with only my guitar for company, was my first open mic. At which i totally bombed. Because i freaked myself out. Traumatised. Avoided doing it ever since.

But i think its time i put aside my fear and just freakin do it! How lonh should i hide and not face my fears. Who knows, maybe i won't suck this time around ;p. Its a small show, so all i have to do is tell myself: stop freaking out!

BREATHE THARISH, BREATHE!